


I could learn how to bake a cake

by TNKT



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Adorable Connor, Baking, Birthday, Connor (Detroit: Become Human) Tries, Connor Deserves Happiness, Connor is still learning feelings, Deviant Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Father-Son Relationship, Fluff, Gen, Good Parent Hank Anderson, Gordon Ramsay would be proud, Hank Anderson & Connor Friendship, Hank Anderson & Connor Parent-Child Relationship, He's cute, One Shot, Parent-Child Relationship, Post-Pacifist Best Ending (Detroit: Become Human), Supportive Hank Anderson, Swearing, and a bunch of other things, because hank, comforting dad Hank, how surprising is that, sad son Connor, the cake is not great but that's okay, to impress his favorite father figure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-30
Updated: 2019-03-30
Packaged: 2019-12-27 00:46:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18293456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TNKT/pseuds/TNKT
Summary: Hank did not expect to wake up to this on his birthday. It still happens.





	I could learn how to bake a cake

Hank woke up with a snort and a grunt. His head was throbbing and he felt grimy, but that wasn't what had roused him. He took a moment to blink the sleep out of his eyes and slowly sat up, rubbing his face as he tried to remember what day it was. Right. Sunday.  
Also his birthday.  
He let his hand fall back in his lap and looked around his room. His pants were lying discarded on the floor and there was a tipped beer can next to the door, but strangest of all, a tang that he had yet to identify lingered in the air. The man got up with a groan and ambled out of his room and down the corridor. Sumo greeted him with a muffled bark from his corner of the living room.

"Smells weird in here," grumbled Hank when he stepped in the kitchen. He nearly had a heart attack when he saw a familiar android standing completely still at the table, gazing at him expectantly. 

"What the- Connor?! When the fuck did you come inside?"

"Three hours and twenty-four minutes ago, Lieutenant," the RK800 answered politely.

"That's not even what I should be asking," sputtered Hank. "How the hell did you get in?"

The android slightly tilted his head to the side. "You gave me a copy of your house key four days ago, Lieutenant. Have you already forgotten?"

Hank brought a hand to his face again and rubbed his eyes. He remembered alright, he'd done so after enduring weeks of Connor's badgering. The android had insisted it would be best if he didn't need to break a window the next time Hank had another drunken self-loathing session. And what a mistake that had been.  
"It's too early for this shit," muttered the man. "Why are you even here?"  
He let his hand drop to his side, and that was when he finally noticed what was on the table in front of Connor.

"I wanted to surprise you, Lieutenant," the android smoothly answered. "I recently learned about the human tradition of celebrating their date of birth, and it just so happened that yours was last month. This is a chocolate cake that I made using your kitchen. I took the liberty of buying the necessary ustensils."

Hank's gaze roamed around the kitchen. The place was spotless and there were indeed new additions to his kitchenware that were drying on the rack next to the sink. A pink mixing bowl, a round cooking tray, a bright green spatula, and a simple black whisk.

"What the hell, Connor," he simply grunted. He had too many questions and not enough fucks to give.

The android's lips quirked up to one side ever so slightly. "I'm sure you'll make good use of them, Lieutenant."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Hank said dismissively. "So I take it you want me to eat that thing?"

"It isn't a thing," Connor replied, and he sounded surprisingly defensive. "It is a cake."

Hank lifted an eyebrow, and it didn't take him long to figure out why the android had reacted that way. "This is your first time, huh."

Connor's perfectly calm expression wavered for a split second, so fast that Hank almost missed it, and he precised : "My first time using a kitchen, yes." 

"Oh, this ought to be good." Hank approached the table and squinted at Connor's creation. It looked simple enough, just a brown cake in the shape of a circle without any added decoration. And it did kind of smell like chocolate.

"Huh. You didn't put any candles," he remarked.

Connor looked at him innocently. "I've heard some people prefer not to have their age alluded to, even on their birthday."

Hank smirked. "Nice catch, smartass."

"Will you try it?" asked the android, and Hank could have sworn he heard anticipation in his voice. Connor was still coming to grips with the whole feeling emotions thing, so compared to other androids, he still wasn't very expressive. Hank, however, thought that he was making damn good progress.

Hank sighed. "Why the fuck not. Guess I'll just dig in then."

Connor handed him a spoon which he had either summoned out of thin air or hidden up his sleeve the whole time, because Hank sure as hell hadn't seen him hold anything during their conversation, and said : "Please do, Lieutenant."

Hank mumbled thanks and grabbed the spoon before sitting down at the table. Connor stayed right where he was with his hands behind his back like a fucking butler, and Hank tried to ignore his insistent gaze as he scooped a piece of the cake and lifted it to his mouth. He chewed it once.

"Fuck, Connor, this is disgusting!" exclaimed the man as he hastily rose from his seat to rinse out his mouth. "What the hell did you put in there?"

The android stared at him and took one second longer than usual to answer. "...All the ingredients listed in the first recipe I found online when I searched for the key words chocolate cake recipe." He sounded taken aback by his reaction.

There was a moment of silence during which Hank swished water in his mouth before spitting it out. "For fuck's sake, it tastes nothing like chocolate cake!"

Perplexed, Connor doubled checked the recipe he'd found. Flour, milk, chocolate, eggs... His LED cycled yellow.

"...Oh."

Hank turned around. "What, oh?"

Connor looked up at him. "It seems I may have... confused sugar with salt."

Hank's eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. "How the hell does an android cop confuse sugar with salt?"

"It was a simple mistake, Lieutenant. I assure you it will not happen again."

"I can't believe this shit," the man said as he shook his head. "State of the art prototype my ass."

Connor didn't answer. He was staring at the failed cake and trying to identify the feeling associated with its image, and after a few seconds of rifling through his database, he found it : disappointment. He'd been so sure about the finished product being the expected result of the recipe and never envisioned, not even once, that it was possible for him to mess up. Mistakes were a human thing.  
He recalled the memory file of taking the sugar from Hank's cupboard : the jars of salt and sugar in Hank's kitchen were similar, but they had labels. He'd even taken a sample of the white powder on the lid labeled SUGAR and licked it to make sure it was the right one, so why had salt ended up being the main component of the mixture? 

Hank took a few gulps of tap water and wiped his mouth on his arm before turning around, and saw that Connor's LED was still yellow. The android looked deep in thought, and Hank suddenly felt bad for reacting that strongly to Connor's first attempt at baking. It was his first attempt at anything other than being a cop, for fuck's sake.

"Hey, look, Connor... It's not that big a deal."

The android's eyes snapped up to his face. "I apologize for the disturbance. It was not my intention to make your morning this unpleasant." His voice sounded as smooth as ever when he spoke, but he was obviously a bit upset about the mishap, if his LED was anything to go by.

Hank sighed and walked up to him, and settled a hand on his shoulder. "Listen here... I'll be honest, I'm glad you made me a cake for my birthday," he admitted gruffly. "Usually the only thing I do on my birthday is crack open a few more beers than usual."

"You're glad?" echoed the android. "You said it tasted disgusting, that's nothing to be glad about."

Hank chortled. "Yeah, it tasted like shit. But it's the thought that counts. Look that up in your database, you'll see what I mean. I'm glad, all right? Let's leave it at that." He let go of Connor's shoulder and added : "You'll do better next time, yeah?"

Connor watched as Hank picked up the plate and headed towards the trash bin. Another emotion coursed through him : regret. 

"I am sorry for wasting your food supplies," he said.

Hank stopped short of the bin and shot him a look. "It's not a waste, Connor. It's practice. Everyone starts out that way. Now turn around because I don't want to break your heart."

Connor frowned lightly. "How would you break-"

"All right, all right, your thirium pump thing. It's an expression, Connor, don't start busting my balls."

"I am fully aware of that idiom's meaning," Connor said. "I was unclear as to why I would need to turn around, and why my heart would be broken in the first place."

Hank gestured towards the bin eloquently. "Because I'm about to throw out your first culinary creation and most people would be sad about it."

Connor stopped to consider that, and then spun around to face the wall. "There you go," said Hank, and he heard the bin open, something land at the bottom, and the lid closing again.

"Now that that's done, how about we make another one, this time with sugar?" suggested Hank.

Connor whirled around. "You want to?"

Hank chuckled. "Heck, Connor, if I can help you learn to make a cake that won't poison anyone, I don't see why I wouldn't." As he said those words, Connor's LED reverted to blue and the android's features relaxed into a smile. 

"Thank you, Hank." 

"Ah, it's nothing," the man mumbled in his unshaven beard. Connor did not smile very often and Hank was trying very hard not to let that smile get to him. He could practically feel his heart go all mushy on him. On top of that, the whole situation felt very reminiscent of his son's first attempt at cookies, when Cole had poured two cups of vanilla extract instead of two teaspoons. Hank hadn't taken up a whisk again ever since Cole was gone.  
Now he was baking with his android colleague who couldn't even eat any damn cake, on his birthday, in his underwear, with a neon pink mixing bowl and a fluorescent green spatula. There was no way in hell he could have ever seen that coming.  
And he certainly never could have guessed how strangely happy he felt in that situation.

They solved the mystery of what they would later call the SSS case (Salt and Sugar Swap) when Hank remembered that he'd swapped the lids of both jars one drunken evening thinking it would be damn funny to prank his sober self.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey pumpkin.  
> My first DBH fic. I had to because Connor is now my life blood and I need to contribute to this dark pit of a fandom.  
> I wrote this in like three hours when I was supposed to study for exams but you know how life goes.
> 
> Thanks for reading, please leave a comment if you feel like it!
> 
> Edit : here's the [sequel](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18374684)
> 
> Come by and say hi on [Tumblr](https://lost-tanuki.tumblr.com/post/184765301043/dbh-fics) and [Twitter](https://twitter.com/losttanuki)!  
> I now have a Discord server called the Pumpkin Patch server, you can pm either me or eremazing on Tumblr/Twitter to join. I'm looking forward to seeing you there!
> 
> If you like my work, please consider supporting me on [Ko-fi](https://ko-fi.com/losttanuki)! Every little bit helps.


End file.
